I hate waking up to your neatly made bed beside mine.
I hate how you're motivated all of the time.
I live on mac'n'cheese while you eat healthy.
I get frustrated and you overflow with positivity.
You can dance choreographed steps around me.
I don't even know about half of your hobbies.
Unlike my mess, you're always aesthetic.
You're so good at everything, it makes me sick.
I'm shaped wrong, but you're perfectly pretty.
You're always cute, not awkward like me.
You're so much faster than me.
You know exactly what you want to be.
You're two steps ahead of me.
I'm two steps behind you.
You're running away, I'm losing hope.
Please wait for me, where did you go?
I'm lost alone.
I don't know what to do.
I just want to be like you.
We all have those weird things we said as kids, right? I know I could fill an entire book with my funny childhood quotes. One thing I did every night when my family prayed before bed was thank God for each of us in turn and then say, “Don’t fowget to love youwsewf!” when I got to me. That is now a family joke, but the three year old goofball that was me actually had a point.
My cute younger self probably drew you in, but now that you know my topic, some of you are probably getting bored. Yes, the love yourself idea may seem a bit overused, unless I’m the only one who gets the suggested posts on Instagram about how “you are enough.” Honestly, I used to think self love was just an overrated trend. Now, however, I feel it’s important to really understand the movement, what it means, and how it can go too far.
I never really knew anything about self love until I started doing yoga with my mom to relieve the stress of school and living
in a house with six kids. We followed Yoga With Adrian on YouTube and she talked a lot about making time for yourself and accepting your body as it is while finding ways to improve that feel good. In one video she said, “Self love; an ongoing regular practice, not something we tap into when we’re down and out, or when we’re in that kind of fight or flight mode, but rather a regular practice.” I took in some of what she said and I thought it made a lot of sense, but to be completely honest, I really just liked doing the poses. I definitely didn’t make self love a regular practice, at any rate.
A few months ago, however, my sister and I started listening to the popular k-pop group, BTS. The band is big on self love, and their songs are what finally helped me get it. This translation from one of their songs, “Answer: Love Myself”, really caught my attention: “Loving myself might be harder
Than loving someone else
Let’s admit it
The standards I made are more strict for myself
...
Now let’s forgive ourselves
Our lives are long, trust yourself when in a maze.”
When you think of yourself, what is the first word that comes to your mind? A few people might respond to this question with “unique” or “creative” or “funny”, but a lot might say “ugly” or “fat” or “stupid”. Now, how would you answer this question about your best friend? If you’re being totally honest, some of you will think of outward flaws first, but, chances are, you’ll quickly slap yourself and focus instead on said friend’s good qualities like kindness or love. What exactly is the difference between you and your best friend that your bad qualities are worse than theirs? Why is the scale different when it’s you? To me, self love is about looking at yourself the way you would look at anybody else because, the fact is, we’re all humans.
Some people might argue that they really don’t have anything to love about themselves. That is untrue. I believe that we were all created by God, who knows what He is doing. To quote Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them. Male and female He created them.” He made you just the way He wants you. Just like there are flaws in any human, every one of us has something worth loving, too. You just have to try a little. Work to find something about yourself to love and then grow that.
In a speech to the United Nations, RM of BTS said this: “Maybe I made a mistake yesterday, but yesterday’s me is still me. I am who I am today, with all my faults. Tomorrow I might be a tiny bit wiser, and that’s me, too. These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life. I have come to love myself for who I was, who I am, and who I hope to become.”
Other people may avoid self love because they don’t want to become, well, selfish. This is actually a legitimate concern for some. Self love can go too far. We can start seeing ourselves as perfect and stop trying to improve. It’s important to remember that you are sinful and imperfect, but so is everyone else. It’s about what we focus on, and how we handle ourselves with the flaws. Some people might feel entitled. You don’t deserve the entire world, you deserve what you can get for yourself. Hard work is crucial. Finally, you could become self centered and love yourself more than you love anyone else. This is neither healthy nor kind. The key is balance. Know who you are and who everyone else is. We are all humans. We all have good qualities and bad ones. Treat yourself the way you would treat any other human, no better and no worse.
Self love can be hard and confusing, but it’s worth the effort. I was inspired by the music made by seven people who are all the way across the world from me, so I hope you can be inspired by me, a random teenage girl behind this random post. If nothing else, I hope this can at least be to you what the soothing voice between downward dogs was to me: a start. Remember to look at yourself in the right light, and keep making more things to love.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And realize you're beautiful,
Frizzy hair, acne, big nose, double chin, and all.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And let the inside color the outside.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And decide to use the same lens
That you'd use on anybody else
To really see yourself.
It's a magical moment.
When you look in the mirror
And see your flaws
Without letting them define you.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And love the person smiling back at you.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And realize God knew what He was doing
When He put you together.
It's a magical moment
When you look in the mirror
And realize you don't need it anymore.