Sock Plot

Everybody thought Mildrid Patt was a kind old lady. Everyone except Detective Burlton. Mildred used to bake pies that made people fall into deep, deep sleep for 2 hours. She would give them to people and rob their houses while they slept. One time she had taken too long to get the grand piano out and Isac Burlton woke up and found out her evil plans. Mildred moved and did the same thing with socks in another town. She thought she was safe but little did she know Isac had told his detective cousin who lived in the very same town. He had been suspicious of her for quite some time but his spying provided no evidence. Mildred always knit socks and gave them to people after any burglary. Burlton suspected that she did this so nobody would suspect her of the robbery. He had no idea how bad it was. He had often seen her go into a spare room that was accessed through a passage behind the bookshelf. When he first saw this he was very excited but further spying did no good. Finally he decided the only thing left to do was go inside and investigate. All he needed was a good cover.

“Excuse me, I'm from a local sock store, we need some new socks for our line. Would you be interested in selling us some of your wonderfully knitted socks? I hear they’re the best in town." Detective Burlton asked Mildred. He was tactfully dressed in a knitted sweater that said “Sock World” in a rainbow of colors. 

"I guess I could show em to ya," Said Mildred, careful not to blow her cover.

"Very good,” the Detective said curtly.

"Well, I’ll just go get a few pairs for you to see,” Mildred said. 

“Nonsense, I know how to walk, it will be much more simple if you just show me to your knitting room," the Detective insisted. Mildred refused to act suspiciously and led him to her room Detective Burlton was very surprised by what he saw. There was a tiger rug on the floor with a stuffed head. An eagle sat on a table and flew at the Detective as soon as he set foot in the room.

"Settle down Lareby,” Mildred commanded the bird. He flew back to his perch. The Detective spotted a key hole on the left side of the bookcase and quickly told Mildred that he liked what he saw and would get back to her with prices. Next the detective sent her a 50% off coupon for a bus ticket and an invitation to a knitting circle on the other side of town. When Detective Burlton was sure Mildred had left he used a special key that could pick any lock to get in and explore the secret passage. He found out that Mildred spun her own yarn in that room and kept it in the tiger head for 12 hours and that made it so whoever wore the socks would lose memory of any faces they saw within the last 5 days. The Detective told the police, who did chemical tests and arrested Mildred.

Sections: Fiction, Funny, Happy, Mysteries, Short Stories