Confused

I'm exhausted. 

What are these emotions?

Where did they come from?

I feel so happy 

I want to cry,

But I'm all heavy and helpless.

I want to cry.

All I can do is live,

But why do I live so slowly?

I want to fly,

But I keep pulling myself down.

How do I get out of my way?

This is all nothing.

I'm making it up in my head

But it feels so real.

Why do I almost like it?

A hundred words I'm trying to say

Blare in my ears,

But I can feel the immense silence

Behind them.

Am I really saying anything?

I want to pour my heart out,

To write my every feeling,

But I don't know where to start 

Or where to go. 

Is this real?

I don't understand. 

I don't know.

But there's a pencil in my hand

And I'm holding on to it.

Holding on to my words, 

All of the colorful thoughts in my mind.

Holding on to each smile

That floats me through the day. 

Holding on.

I guess I'll start there.

Sections: Confused, Emotion Rants, Free Verse, Hope, Poetry, Real Characters, Scared, Worries